One Year Anniversary

One Year Anniversary

By Andrew Turner

January 17^th, 2014: “After being affected by the suicides of veterans close to us, the three of us, Laura, Jamie and Andrew, joined together and decided to quit saying, "Somebody should do something about this," and start saying, "We've got to do something about this." At a booth in that Panera we laid the foundation for that something. We decided that night that too many lives were at stake and our silence made us complicit. Today we are part of the solution to a national tragedy. Please join us in fighting back and saving the lives of our fellow veterans.”

This is how Veteran’s Refuge Network was born one year ago.  12 months later, it’s difficult to put into words what this journey has meant to the three of us, how it has impacted us individually, and how it has changed the trajectory of our lives.

PFC Brian Smith

SGT Ben Lewis

SGT Zack Potter

These are the names of the veterans we knew who took their own lives, and these three will forever be directly related to the founding of VRN.   

In the last year we’ve been confronted with an issue we knew almost nothing about.  Until it affected us directly, “veteran suicide” wasn’t something we thought about.  But now, not a day goes by when the statistic of “22 a day” isn’t on our minds.  Not a day goes by when the realities of living with PTSD isn’t on our minds.  Not a day goes by when the responsibility we bear to step in and support those struggling isn’t on our minds. 

Last week, we got together with the family of our friend, Sergeant Zack Potter, to honor his memory at the 1-year anniversary of his passing.  Zack is a huge part of why VRN is here today.  His family is a huge part of why VRN is here today.  Surrounded by his family and friends, I had to take a breath and look at how far we’ve come in the last year.  About 20 people representing at least five different veteran support organizations came together in the greenhouse at the Eisenhower Center’s Manchester Campus – a place that was very special to Zack. A few in the group never met Zack, but they knew of him, and we were all impacted in some way by Zack’s life.  Throughout the year we have talked a lot about the ripple effect that veteran suicide has within our community.  Standing in the greenhouse, that ripple effect was crystal clear.  Strangers a year earlier, Zack’s life, and his death, had brought us all together.

           

In a year of tremendous change and growth for us, a few things stand out that I’d like to share:

First, a single comment that stood out to me. I doubt the person who made the comment will remember, but the imagery of it left a profound impact on me and how I see my mission at VRN.  When talking about having a friend struggle and seeing them fight their way through the dark, he said, “I want to be a flashlight in that dark for them.”  In my own experience, and talking with others, it’s common to describe the experience of being in the middle of the struggle as being in that dark place.  It’s a place you know you don’t belong, but can’t find your way out of.  I want to be a flashlight in that dark for them.

Second, the relationships we’ve formed. From the beginning, we knew we were not in a position to provide primary care and service for people battling PTSD when they came to us for help.  For us, it has always been important for them to know we are there for them though, and for us to build strong relationships with other organizations that can provide those services, so when someone reaches out to us, we can trust that the organization we send them to is going to take good care of them.  This is an area we have done well at and are proud of.  Developing personal relationships with people in organizations such as Give an Hour, Stiggy’s Dogs, Michigan Operation Freedom Outdoors, and many others, allows us to know when we refer a veteran to one of these places, they are going to be treated with respect and receive quality care.  Growing these relationships with like-minded people and organizations has been one of the most rewarding parts of the last year, and we have met a lot of amazing people who have become our friends, and had a positive impact on us as individuals and on VRN. 

           

Third, our PTSD awareness project during the month of June. For PTSD Awareness Month, we had an idea to engage our community and bring awareness to the tragedy of 22 veteran suicides every day.  Jamie had the idea to plant 22 crosses every day of the month to represent those veterans lost to suicide.  Our idea half-formed, we went to Home Depot, bought $300 worth of lumber, paint, and screws and cleared out the garage to begin painting and building the crosses.  When we started all the work, we didn’t even have a place to set them up.  After securing a place the day before we planned to start the project, we were unexpectedly forced to move locations three days into the project.  But due to the help and generosity of so many of you, we found a new place and went about the task of placing 22 crosses in the ground every day. 

It was an overwhelming project that we could not have accomplished alone.  Not only did it require more time than we had to give, it was very taxing emotionally and having you there with us gave us strength.  With the help of many of you, we put in nearly 150 man-hours of work on the project by the time it was finished.  The project received interest from media, politicians, friends and family, strangers driving by, and people from all over the area.  On June 30^th, we held a community gathering to culminate the project, and joined together to appreciate and honor the lost lives we were representing.  More than 125 people joined us that night in what became a very emotional event.  Together we placed those last 22 crosses into the ground and stood back in awe of the beauty and the horror of 660 White Crosses covering a field close to the size of a football field. 

Throughout the year we’ve had a number of other opportunities to talk to people, groups, and organizations about VRN, PTSD, veteran mental health, and veteran suicide.  We’ve grown our network and become a respected part of the veteran community in our area.  In mid-October we received our non-profit status approval from the IRS, designating us a 501(c)3 charitable organization, and making us too legit to quit.  We’ve also started monthly get-togethers for our supporters, to get to know one another, build a community, and be part of something great. 

But just one short year in, and the work is still only beginning.  We are excited about the direction our organization is heading.  We are excited about the friends and connections we are continuing to make as a result of VRN.  But, we are most excited about helping veterans in need.

In the next year we will continue in our commitment to raise awareness about veteran suicide and PTSD, to eliminate the stigma associated with mental health issues among veterans, and to help veterans access the resources available to get them the help they need.  We are also looking forward to focusing on our long-term vision of funding and building a Veteran’s Refuge Center to provide a variety of therapies for veterans battling PTSD and other mental health issues.

Shortly after Zack took his own life, I told his dad I wish I would have been able to be a refuge for him that night.  He could have stayed on my couch for the night just to get him away from the things that were dragging him down and help him clear his mind.  Of course, as his dad pointed out, Zack’s problems would still have been there the next morning.  His PTSD would still have been very real.  His struggles would not have disappeared.  And while I understood, I also couldn’t help but think about the fresh opportunity that comes with the each new day.  We never know what tomorrow holds, and just maybe the call he was waiting for would come, or that flashlight would click on to help see him through the darkness. 

In truth, Zack fought as long as possible.  He did everything he could to get help and when that help didn’t come, he found peace the only way he could.  This is why I believe the work we have in front of us is so important.  We have a responsibility to all of the others struggling like Zack.  We have a responsibility to reach them, to be a refuge for them, to make sure they don’t slip through the cracks. 

           

Laura, Jamie, and I can’t do it alone.  We couldn’t have made it this far alone.  Much of the good work we are able to do is a credit to all of you who believe in us, encourage us, and sacrifice alongside us because you share our belief that our veterans are worth saving.  It’s not going to be easy; it’s going to take each of us doing our part and being the one to make a difference. But, change will come. 

Thank you for continuing to stand with us, offering your support, and being a flashlight in the dark for those who have given so much. 

Too Legit to Quit

Too Legit to Quit

By Jamie Turner

In January of this year, Veteran's Refuge Network started as a crazy idea. Today, we are excited to announce that after only ONE paperwork submission and FOUR short months, the IRS has approved our 501c(3) status and we are officially a non-profit! The short approval time took us off guard, we'd heard stories of multiple attempts, months of waiting, and repeated frustrations. For our approval to only take four months is an awesome surprise, and to say we're excited is an understatement. 

We just wanted to take a minute express our gratitude to everyone for sharing our posts, helping us raise awareness for PTSD and the 22 veterans that commit suicide each day, and continuing to support us each and every day. Changing the statistic is not something the three of us can do alone, we fully recognize it's going to take a network of people willing to reach out a hand to someone who may be struggling. And, to those of you who have jumped right in to join us in this fight, we cannot say thank you enough. 

Now that we're too legit to quit, we know the real work begins as we work toward making our idea of a veteran treatment center a reality. 

Yes, it's going to take a lot of work. 
Yes, it's going to be discouraging at times. 
Yes, it's worth the fight. 

We feel so blessed, humbled, and excited for what the future holds. Please continue to partner with us as we make progress, reach out to those you know may be going through a rough time, and be the one to make a difference for someone today.

I Am The One

I Am The One

By Andrew Turner

On June 30^th, 2014, we gathered together; we stood in awe, in horror, in silence as we looked at 660 crosses in a field representing the incredible loss of veteran suicide in a single month.  We saw the statistic in a new light.  We shared the tragedy with our community and tried to help people understand the epidemic that our veteran population is facing.  We also challenged each other to make a change.  We talked about the impact saving one life could have, the ripple it would create, and the tidal wave that would come with reducing 22 veteran suicides a day to 21 a day.  But most importantly we talked about where the change will come from and who is responsible for creating that change.  I am the one responsible for creating the change.  You are the one responsible for creating the change. 

With September being National Suicide Prevention Month, we have another opportunity to bring attention and awareness to the 22 veteran suicides daily and continue a discussion on what we can do to help change that number.  This month we will continue to bring you information on ways to fight PTSD and other mental health issues impacting veterans.  We’ll list resources that veterans can use to get the help they need in order to be healthy.  And, we’ll share our own stories of how we are the ones making a difference for veterans, and we’ll ask you to share with us how you are the one making a difference for those around you.

We want you to think about how you would finish the statement, “I am the one…”, and share your answer with us.  Think about it in terms of veteran suicide prevention.  Maybe you are the one who has the Veteran Crisis Line phone number stored in your phone so it’s there when you need it, or when your friend needs it.  Maybe you are the one who calls and writes your representative to encourage them to support legislation that increases mental health services for veterans.  Maybe you are the one who lost a battle buddy, and now you make a conscious effort to call and text your surviving friends to make sure they are doing ok, and to let them know you have their back if they need it.  Or, maybe you are the one who has struggled with thoughts of suicide, but has fought back from the brink. We all have a story to tell.

I know how I finish the statement.  Jamie and Laura both know how they finish it.  And starting September 1^st 2014, we’ll be sharing ours with you and hoping you do the same with us. 

Here’s how you can participate: We’re going to share short video clips of us finishing the statement while holding a sign that reads, “I am the one…” Simply hold up your sign, share your statement, and then send us the link. We’ll post one each day during the month of September. If you’re still not sure you understand what we’re looking for, just follow our lead.  Andrew, Jamie, and Laura will have the first three days of the month covered.

This is just one way we can continue to take ownership of the problem and embrace our responsibility for being the change we wish to see.  I challenge you to accept the responsibility of being the change.  I challenge you to be the one that helps reduce the 22 a day.  I challenge you to find your ending to the statement, “I am the one…”, and share it with us. 

#BeTheOne  #IAmTheOne #22aDay  #21>22

#BeTheOne

#BeTheOne

by Andrew Turner

Just over a month ago we began an awareness campaign to show the 22 lives that are lost to suicide each day in our veteran community.  Every day the display grew.  Every day the impact grew.  And on June 30^th, we gathered as a community to witness the 660 crosses in the ground, show respect for the lives they represented, and discuss how we could make a change to this tragic statistic.  Two days ago we finally took the project down and now it’s difficult to put into words what the last month has meant to us, being there every day, pounding 22 crosses into the ground every day.  There is a definite sense of pride for what we accomplished, for the way we were able to share our vision with so many others, and for the way our community responded with support and interest.  There is also a feeling of sadness seeing the empty field after spending so much time there.  We came to appreciate our time among the crosses and despite the tragedy it represented, we found a calmness and peace there that we are now missing.  Leaving town for the 4^th of July weekend, Jamie commented that it would be the first day in over a month that we had not been there.  I missed it that first day.  It seemed that we had put so much of ourselves into that project that not being there was strange.  But I’m also glad it’s over.

I’m glad I don’t have to put another 22 crosses into the ground today.  I’m glad our project is complete, but it’s only complete because of the limit we placed on it.  We could have been back on July 1^st with another 22 crosses.  And we could have been back July 2^nd, and 3^rd, and 4^th…and as many other days as we wanted, as long as this tragedy continues.  So the display serves its purpose of letting people know about this issue.  It allows people to put a visual to a statistic.  But unless it inspires us to make a change, then what purpose does it serve?  The major theme that continued to be discussed at the display was the ripple effect that each suicide has.  It was the ripple effect of three that brought us all together on June 30^th, over 130 people, most who didn't know each other, yet were touched by the ripples of Brian, Ben, and Zack’s deaths. 

We’re going to do this project again.  The response it received was greater than we could have imagined and there’s no telling the impact it can have as we share it in other communities.  The more people it touches, the more opportunity we have to draw them to our cause and encourage them to stand with us to support these struggling veterans.  My hope is that when we do this again (and soon), that we don’t have to put 22 crosses in every day.  That instead we can put in 21 crosses, or 20 crosses, or one day have no need for a single cross at all.  But that change will only come because of the effort we are willing to put in to bring it about. We cannot simply look at all those crosses and hope that the VA is going to come to our rescue, or some new government program will be what makes a difference.  Too many of our brothers and sisters are falling through the cracks and it’s happening every single day.  If we truly want to see a change, we need to take responsibility for that change.  If we truly think these lives are worth saving, we need to take responsibility for that change.  Change will come because we are willing to put in the effort to create it. 

So what does that look like?  How does, “What can I do to help?” turn into, “This is what I am doing to help…”?  You don’t need to have all the answers to a veteran’s problems to help them.  You just need to let them know that you care enough to listen to them when they need to talk.  You just need to let them know that you care enough to call them, or shoot them a text, or reach out to them on Facebook to see how they are doing and let them know you are thinking about them.  You just need to be there for them when they are struggling.  None of us can force a veteran to reach out for help with PTSD or other mental health issues.  But we can be there to support them when they are ready.  We can make sure we are a positive part of their life that lifts them up when they are down.  None of that is difficult or requires much of us.  Yet it can make a real impact on someone looking for a reason to continue living.  Each of us can be the one who makes a change and saves a life.  Each of us can be the one who reaches out a hand to those who are slipping through the cracks.  Together we can make a change in the statistic that says 22 veterans will commit suicide tomorrow.  But it won’t happen by accident.  It will happen because people like you and I are willing to stand in the gap and be the change.  So what have you done to make a difference for somebody today?  What are you willing to do to make a difference for somebody tomorrow?  How far are you willing to go to be the one who changes 22 a day to 21?

660 White Crosses

660 White Crosses

By Jamie Turner

            A few years ago, one of my favorite college professors showed us a documentary called “Paper Clips”, about a group of middle school kids in Tennessee who were learning about the Holocaust and the 6 million lives that were lost during that time. Hearing the number 6 million was one thing, but the students were having difficulty grasping the enormity of that number and wanted to know what it looked like. They embarked on a project where they set out to collect 6 million paper clips in order to visualize just how many people that actually was. As news of their project got out, paper clips began arriving from all over the world. To date, the school has received over 30 million paper clips, numerous mementos from Holocaust survivors and their families, and even an actual German rail car that had been used to transport people to the concentration camps. Years later, this movie periodically comes to my mind, as it did this past week once again.

            Last weekend Veteran’s Refuge had a full schedule of volunteering, manual labor, a 5k race, a business plan to write, a competition to enter, budgets to plan, and more. In the busyness of the weekend, it was easy to simply work through Memorial Day as just a day to get things done; conscious of what it meant, but not really fully grasping the solemnity of the day. As we sat here on the couch, me working on one project, Andrew typing away at another, both of our phones received a text message. What I read changed my day, it changed my week, and it changed my month.

            The message was from the father of our friend Zack, who lost his battle with PTSD this past January. The attached photo showed Zack’s dad with his arm lovingly surrounding a white headstone, and a message that simply said, “One of the bravest most honorable people I've ever known. My hero, my son. I miss you Zboy!” Even now, I can’t read it or think of his words without tearing up. This is what Memorial Day is all about. Remembering those we’ve lost in the heat of battle, and those we’ve lost since they’ve come home, after fighting PTSD for years.

            The text and the beautiful words stayed with me the rest of the afternoon. An idea was forming in my brain, but I kept telling myself it was too crazy, and there wasn't enough time to plan it out. I kept thinking of the statistic of 22 veterans who commit suicide each day. 22. How many is 22, really? We easily spend $22 on take-out and don’t even bat an eye. What does 22 look like? I thought of Paper Clips, and what did 6 million look like? And, I thought of June. I’ve been planning out our social media campaign, and have had on my calendar for weeks that June is PTSD awareness month. There’s 30 days in June. There’s 22 veteran suicides a day. What does that look like? What does 660 look like?

            By 5:00pm, I still hadn’t said anything to Andrew. We were driving home from our favorite Mexican restaurant when I finally decided to just test the waters and see what he thought. I began with, “So, I’ve been thinking about something crazyyyyy…” Gotta love my husband, he didn’t even bat an eye. Then, I told him my idea. I said I wanted to show what 22 a day looked like, every day during the month of June. I wasn’t sure how it could be done, or if it could even be accomplished in such a short time frame. Should it be flags? Should it be boots? How could we get it done? My brain was spinning a million miles an hour. Andrew listened to my jumble of thoughts, was immediately on board, and drove the truck straight to Home Depot. One quick phone call to Laura, and she signed on to the crazy train too.

            So, for the past week, Andrew, Laura, and I along with family and friends have been working feverishly to paint, cut, and assemble 660 white crosses for our art project. We’ve called councilmen, city managers, and people who might know a guy, in order to locate a piece of visible property we could use for the month of June. And, starting on Monday, June 2^nd, our goal is to display 22 white crosses each day, in order to visually show our country’s loss. We have one week’s worth fully assembled in our basement, ready to go. It’s so many. And it’s only a quarter of how many we actually need. I hate that we need even one.

            As we’re working toward building our Veteran’s Refuge, we’re realizing more and more that it’s not just me, Andrew, and Laura. Veteran’s Refuge is all of us together. One of you might be able to help a veteran who is struggling; just by being there for them, sending a text, or connecting them with someone who can help. We recognize we cannot do it alone; in order to succeed, it’s got to be about building a community of support, a network of all of us together, so if we can’t reach one, someone else will be there who can.

            So, this is our big plan. We invite you to come out and see the crosses each day, at 6400 Textile Rd., in Ypsilanti, Michigan. We plan to invite everyone on June 30^th for when we put in the last 22 of the month. Come and see what 660 looks like. One changed me. Three were the catalyst for the forming of Veteran’s Refuge. I guarantee 660 will change your life. This is not about a political statement, it’s not about despair and negativity, and in fact it’s the opposite. It’s about bringing awareness and hope, strength and encouragement. It’s about removing the stigma and showing that losing even one is one too many. On June 30^th, we’ll look out on a field of 660 white crosses and know that by doing this, by putting ourselves out there publicly to succeed or fail, we’re making a difference. If we can reach just one, then it’s so worth the risk.