One Year Anniversary
By Andrew Turner
January 17th, 2014: “After being affected by the suicides of veterans close to us, the three of us, Laura, Jamie and Andrew, joined together and decided to quit saying, "Somebody should do something about this," and start saying, "We've got to do something about this." At a booth in that Panera we laid the foundation for that something. We decided that night that too many lives were at stake and our silence made us complicit. Today we are part of the solution to a national tragedy. Please join us in fighting back and saving the lives of our fellow veterans.”
This is how Veteran’s Refuge
Network was born one year ago. 12 months
later, it’s difficult to put into words what this journey has meant to the
three of us, how it has impacted us individually, and how it has changed the
trajectory of our lives.
PFC Brian Smith
SGT Ben Lewis
SGT Zack Potter
These are the names of the
veterans we knew who took their own lives, and these three will forever be
directly related to the founding of VRN.
In the last year we’ve been
confronted with an issue we knew almost nothing about. Until it affected us directly, “veteran
suicide” wasn’t something we thought about.
But now, not a day goes by when the statistic of “22 a day” isn’t on our
minds. Not a day goes by when the
realities of living with PTSD isn’t on our minds. Not a day goes by when the responsibility we
bear to step in and support those struggling isn’t on our minds.
Last week, we got together with
the family of our friend, Sergeant Zack Potter, to honor his memory at the 1-year
anniversary of his passing. Zack is a
huge part of why VRN is here today. His
family is a huge part of why VRN is here today.
Surrounded by his family and friends, I had to take a breath and look at
how far we’ve come in the last year. About
20 people representing at least five different veteran support organizations came
together in the greenhouse at the Eisenhower Center’s Manchester Campus – a place
that was very special to Zack. A few in the group never met Zack, but they knew
of him, and we were all impacted in some way by Zack’s life. Throughout the year we have talked a lot
about the ripple effect that veteran suicide has within our community. Standing in the greenhouse, that ripple
effect was crystal clear. Strangers a
year earlier, Zack’s life, and his death, had brought us all together.
In a year of tremendous change
and growth for us, a few things stand out that I’d like to share:
First, a single comment that
stood out to me. I doubt the person who made the comment will remember, but the
imagery of it left a profound impact on me and how I see my mission at
VRN. When talking about having a friend
struggle and seeing them fight their way through the dark, he said, “I want to be
a flashlight in that dark for them.” In
my own experience, and talking with others, it’s common to describe the
experience of being in the middle of the struggle as being in that dark
place. It’s a place you know you don’t
belong, but can’t find your way out of. I want to be a flashlight in that dark for
them.
Second, the relationships we’ve
formed. From the beginning, we knew we were not in a position to provide primary
care and service for people battling PTSD when they came to us for help. For us, it has always been important for them
to know we are there for them though, and for us to build strong relationships
with other organizations that can provide those services, so when someone
reaches out to us, we can trust that the organization we send them to is going
to take good care of them. This is an
area we have done well at and are proud of.
Developing personal relationships with people in organizations such as
Give an Hour, Stiggy’s Dogs, Michigan Operation Freedom Outdoors, and many
others, allows us to know when we refer a veteran to one of these places, they
are going to be treated with respect and receive quality care. Growing these relationships with like-minded
people and organizations has been one of the most rewarding parts of the last
year, and we have met a lot of amazing people who have become our friends, and
had a positive impact on us as individuals and on VRN.
Third, our PTSD awareness project
during the month of June. For PTSD Awareness Month, we had an idea to engage
our community and bring awareness to the tragedy of 22 veteran suicides every
day. Jamie had the idea to plant 22
crosses every day of the month to represent those veterans lost to suicide. Our idea half-formed, we went to Home Depot,
bought $300 worth of lumber, paint, and screws and cleared out the garage to begin
painting and building the crosses. When
we started all the work, we didn’t even have a place to set them up. After securing a place the day before we
planned to start the project, we were unexpectedly forced to move locations
three days into the project. But due to
the help and generosity of so many of you, we found a new place and went about
the task of placing 22 crosses in the ground every day.
It was an overwhelming project
that we could not have accomplished alone.
Not only did it require more time than we had to give, it was very
taxing emotionally and having you there with us gave us strength. With the help of many of you, we put in
nearly 150 man-hours of work on the project by the time it was finished. The project received interest from media, politicians,
friends and family, strangers driving by, and people from all over the
area. On June 30th, we held a
community gathering to culminate the project, and joined together to appreciate
and honor the lost lives we were representing.
More than 125 people joined us that night in what became a very
emotional event. Together we placed
those last 22 crosses into the ground and stood back in awe of the beauty and
the horror of 660 White Crosses covering a field close to the size of a
football field.
Throughout the year we’ve had a
number of other opportunities to talk to people, groups, and organizations
about VRN, PTSD, veteran mental health, and veteran suicide. We’ve grown our network and become a
respected part of the veteran community in our area. In mid-October we received our non-profit
status approval from the IRS, designating us a 501(c)3 charitable organization,
and making us too legit to quit. We’ve
also started monthly get-togethers for our supporters, to get to know one
another, build a community, and be part of something great.
But just one short year in, and the
work is still only beginning. We are
excited about the direction our organization is heading. We are excited about the friends and
connections we are continuing to make as a result of VRN. But, we are most excited about helping veterans in need.
In the next year we will continue
in our commitment to raise awareness about veteran suicide and PTSD, to eliminate
the stigma associated with mental health issues among veterans, and to help
veterans access the resources available to get them the help they need. We are also looking forward to focusing on
our long-term vision of funding and building a Veteran’s Refuge Center to
provide a variety of therapies for veterans battling PTSD and other mental
health issues.
Shortly after Zack took his own
life, I told his dad I wish I would have been able to be a refuge for him that
night. He could have stayed on my couch
for the night just to get him away from the things that were dragging him down
and help him clear his mind. Of course,
as his dad pointed out, Zack’s problems would still have been there the next
morning. His PTSD would still have been
very real. His struggles would not have disappeared. And while I understood, I also couldn’t help
but think about the fresh opportunity that comes with the each new day. We never know what tomorrow holds, and just
maybe the call he was waiting for would come, or that flashlight would click on
to help see him through the darkness.
In truth, Zack fought as long as possible. He did everything he could to get help and
when that help didn’t come, he found peace the only way he could. This is why I believe the work we have in
front of us is so important. We have a
responsibility to all of the others struggling like Zack. We have a responsibility to reach them, to be
a refuge for them, to make sure they don’t slip through the cracks.
Laura, Jamie, and I can’t do it
alone. We couldn’t have made it this far
alone. Much of the good work we are able
to do is a credit to all of you who believe in us, encourage us, and sacrifice alongside
us because you share our belief that our veterans are worth saving. It’s not going to be easy; it’s going to take
each of us doing our part and being the one to make a difference. But, change
will come.
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