The Luxury of Time
By Andrew Turner
By Andrew Turner
This September, we plan to display the 660 White Crosses, to
represent the number of veteran suicides that will take place during Suicide Awareness Month. When we first did this
event last year, it was incredibly impactful on us personally, as well as on many
of our friends and community members.
We expect the impact will only grow in the second year.
The statistic of 22 veteran suicides every day may
seem like an abstract number, hard to comprehend. But, looking over a field
of 660 White Crosses is a powerful visual to see just how many lives are being
lost, and the incredible ripple effect each life has on our community as fellow
veterans, family members, and concerned citizens.
Last year our goal with the 660 White Crosses was to raise awareness
of veteran suicide, and encourage people to understand the impact of even a
single loss of life. This year, our goal
is to contribute something tangible to impact the mental health of veterans in
a positive way, and we are asking more of ourselves and more of you as
supporters of Veteran’s Refuge Network.
When we started VRN, one of our goals was to partner and support other like-minded organizations that serve our veterans each day. This year as we display the 660 White Crosses, we are asking anyone and everyone to sponsor a cross for $22. With your help, we will get all 660 crosses sponsored and raise $14,520.00! The money we raise from the sponsored crosses will be donated to Stiggy’s Dogs, a fellow non-profit in Brighton, Michigan, who is making a difference and saving lives by partnering veterans with companion and service dogs.
Why is this important? A couple months ago, the VA announced
it is restarting a 3-year study to determine if “veterans with post-traumatic
stress can benefit from service dogs or emotional support dogs." I’m of the opinion that they could save a lot
of time and money by spending one day with Stiggy’s and a few of the veteran/service
dog teams they’ve trained. It wouldn’t take
much to understand the positive impact the dogs have on the lives of the
veterans they are teamed with. The money
we raise will help Stiggy’s continue to grow and help more veterans.
If it sounds like I’m a paid spokesman for Stiggy’s, that’s
only half true. They are one of best
organizations we’ve come across since starting VRN, and I have also benefited
personally from their program. Jamie and
I were blessed to have had our puppy soul-mate, Lola, for 11 ½ years before she
passed in January. Jen Petre, Stiggy’s
founder, sent us a message not long after, with the thought that fostering a
dog for them might be positive for us in the sense that it would help us in our
grief for Lola, as well as help them be able to take in a great dog they would have
otherwise had to pass on. After talking
about it, we decided we were comfortable with the idea of hearing puppy paws
running around the house again, without feeling like we were replacing Lola,
since we knew it was only temporary. About a week later, when Jen offered to let us to adopt
“Sailor” and train him as a service dog for me and VRN, we couldn’t decide if
we were the best foster parents because he fit right in and stayed, or the
worst because we couldn’t give him up.
Before agreeing to keep “Sailor”, I talked with Jen at
length about my reservations if keeping him would prevent somebody else from
being helped by such a good dog. Over
the past year I’ve tried to be as open as possible about my issues with mental
health and the struggles I’ve had, and I’ve never tried to misrepresent
myself. I told Jen that I have never
been diagnosed with PTSD, and I was hesitant to keep the dog at the expense of
somebody might have needed him more than I did.
I have friends that have confided in me the struggle they go through
with PTSD, and I pictured their faces when I told Jen I didn’t want to prevent
somebody else from getting help.
In the end, I agreed for two reasons. First, Jen assured me that he didn’t have to
be a service dog for me personally if I wasn’t comfortable with that. He could be a service dog for VRN and fulfill
his mission by helping us help the veterans that reach out to us. And second, Jamie convinced me that it was
time we accepted somebody else’s offer of help.
We had just recently been talking about the last year and how taxing it
had been on us personally, and on more than one occasion I had talked to Jamie
about feeling like I was in a rut.
I’m
certainly not making myself out to be a martyr or asking for any pat on the back,
but the fact is, through starting VRN, we’ve exposed ourselves more than ever
in the past year, and while Jamie, Laura and I have tried to dedicate our
efforts to helping others, it’s often at the expense of looking out for ourselves. So after some convincing, our service dog
in-training had a new home and a new Army-themed name. “Recon” was here to stay.
Since we got Recon the second week of February, we have
taken him to Stiggy’s once a week to work on his training. He came to us very well trained as a former
member of the Leader Dogs for the Blind program, and we’re constantly amazed at
how smart he is. After about 8 weeks, he
passed his Canine Good Citizen test, earning his CGC patch and service dog vest
complete with an, “In Training” tag on it.
I know he pretty quickly had an impact on Jamie and me. And, I can definitely recognize the
difference he’s made for me personally.
He makes it hard for me to check out mentally, which is something I’m
really good at, because I know he needs my attention; he needs to be fed,
exercised, let out to use the bathroom, played with, and groomed. Plus, he’s just got too much energy for me to
lie around all day in a rut. He also
brings me joy. I like to see him
figuring things out in his training, and learning how to do the tasks we ask
him to do. I’ve never been overly
anxious going out in crowds, but I definitely am not a fan. I avoid certain places at certain times
because I don’t want to deal with the crowds, and I have a finite amount of
time that I can handle being in surrounded by people before I just have to
leave. I’m sure Jamie can give more than
one example of us not making it to the register to pay because I hit my limit
and had to put everything down and walk out of a store. One minute things are fine and we’re laughing
together looking at ugly Christmas sweaters, and the next minute I can’t get
out of the store fast enough.
Since we’ve been able to take Recon out in public, I don’t
hit that wall quite as hard. I’m still
not comfortable going to IKEA, no matter the time of day, but when there is a
crowd, I don’t feel as uneasy because I like seeing how he handles
everything and he gives me something else to focus on. And, we’re only in the beginning phases with
him. Soon he’ll be learning how to turn
lights on, search the house, and other quality of life tasks that will help me
in ways that counseling and medicine don’t.
Eventually the VA’s study will run its course and they’ll
figure out what many of us who have the privilege of working with Stiggy’s
already know: that service dogs SAVE LIVES as well as increase the quality of
life. It will take millions of dollars
and at least three more years for the government to figure this out. In the meantime 22 veterans a day will
continue to take their own life.
We don’t have three years. We don't have millions of dollars. You know what else we don't have? The luxury of time to wait, while so many lives are on
the line. By supporting us and
sponsoring a cross, you are helping us help
Stiggy’s and the work they are doing to save veterans today, not three years from now.
To sponsor a cross, you can donate through our PayPal account via the "donate" button on this blog, via the "donate" button on our Facebook page, or contact us directly if you'd like to mail a check. Thank you for your continued support of Veteran’s Refuge Network and
your commitment to eliminating veteran suicide with us. Together, we’re making a difference.
